Allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings and tears without judgment

8/5/2021

When I was feeling broken for crying, my therapist told me something that really changed how I handle it.

Woman in bangs with mascara running down her cheeks

During my monthly therapy session I talked about how I can feel really great, and then suddenly I spend hours or a whole day being on the verge on tears/crying, and I can't see any reason for it, which makes it feel worse. It makes me feel broken, that after years of working on myself these kind of things still happen.

But she reminded me that no one is perfectly happy all the time, and there will be bad days. She said that unless it's bad for two weeks straight, it's no cause for concern. People without mental health issues also have bad days. (And somehow this is kinda blowing my mind??)

And honestly this has helped me so much. After that talk, when I suddenly feel like crying out of the blue (although watching Grey's Anatomy may help in turbulencing my feelings lol), I tell myself that there is nothing wrong with me. That I am doing so many things to keep my mental health and house in order, along with work and having a chronic illness and not having seen my family in years now with the pandemic that's oh yeah also still a thing, that it's no wonder that sometimes there will be too many feelings and they will need a release.

Allow yourself to acknowledge your feelings and tears without judgment

Let the feelings come without judgment

Even when you're feeling happy there can be underlying stress, anxiety, and sadness. At some point they're bound to come to the surface. By acknowledging these feelings when they come, even for just a few seconds, they have somewhere to go instead of just going back to lurking around the edges waiting to attack.

So by allowing myself to cry a few tears, without making it worse by telling myself I'm broken for doing so, I can then get back to feeling better again. That's probably part of why it used to last so long, because I didn't validate my own feelings and judged myself for it. No wonder it made me feel even worse!

So don't judge yourself or feel broken when you have bad days. Especially right now, when we carry all the anxiety and grief and frustrations after the past 1.5 years of a pandemic. As amazing as it has been getting vaccinated and feeling more free to do things and meet friends, it is still in our lives and history.

Allow yourself some grace, and most of all -- allow yourself to feel what you feel. It's okay.

Related articles: