How and when to adjust your expectations of yourself

3/15/2021

Do you try to check off as many boxes as you possibly can? Do you schedule in more things in your calendar than you actually have time for? Maybe it's time to adjust your expectations of yourself -- this is how and when to do so.

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Last summer we got a new health insurance at work, and with it came a special program that allowed us to earn money from making certain daily goals -- walking 10,000 steps, taking six 500-steps walks a day, and walking 3,000 steps in 30 minutes.

I think this is an awesome initiative, and the first two-three weeks I hit all of these almost every day!

But to walk 3,000 steps in 30 minutes is a pretty fast pace, especially during the hottest part of the year with two dogs. Doing cardio triggers my Lyme disease and this was close enough that I started getting symptoms. And taking 6 walks when you work an office job? I already walked the dogs before work and during most of my three breaks, but I still needed to take two more walks after work to hit the goal.

So finally I had to have some real-talk with myself; "I know you feel accomplished hitting the goals, and free money for your HSA account is great -- but is it really worth it affecting your health for a few dollars?"

How and when to adjust your expectations of yourself

Adjusting my expectations of myself

The truth is that it wasn't. I love walking, but it wasn't fun anymore. I couldn't enjoy the long loop because I had to power-walk through it and the dogs couldn't stop to sniff things. And sure, it was nice to have a push to take an extra walk in the evening, but when it was a tiny loop just to get the 500 steps needed it wasn't much of a benefit for me.

So I decided that the only thing that makes sense for me to do is to aim for the 10,000 steps a day. Now in the winter I usually get 5,000-8,000 steps, and only hit the 10 when I'm also cleaning the house and run up and down the stairs a lot, haha. But that is still really good for having a desk job! And as the weather gets nicer I get out more too to enjoy it.

I might not hit all the goals, but the reality is that I have certain physical limitations that I need to respect. And while I walked 5-12 miles a day back when I was a zipline instructor, I now need to make a conscious effort to get my steps in on my free time. Not to mention the fact that I also lift weights 4 times a week!

(They probably realized that some of these goals are hard to attain for most people, and have now added a mini-goal: 25 cents for 2,500 steps. Hey, it slowly adds up too!)

Photo by The Creative Exchange

Think about your own life: what does it look like?

Do you have anything similar in your life? Some extra project that you took on, an ambitious workout schedule, more social engagements than you really have time or energy for?

Think things over and decide if the rewards are actually worth it for you. Will you actually get recognized at work for this? Will you sacrifice much-needed rest for extra time in the gym? Will you be so spread thin you can't actually enjoy the 5th outing of the week?

There is no shame in scaling things down and taking care of yourself. Even though I need to tell myself this too -- that's the truth. I think the whole hustle-mentality can be very detrimental to our mental health, so knowing your limits and setting boundaries, even with yourself, is totally okay!

Accept that you can only do as much as you can, and even so -- do you want to be doing all that? Is it taking time away from the things that really matter to you?

Of course certain things are non-negotiable, but of the things that you can change, that are optional -- are they actually good for you and how you want your life to be?

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